The Beer is Free

During a trip through the outback of South Australia,
this is an (almost) accurate account of one of the incidents


The Beer is Free

“The beer is free“, the notice said
As our car spluttered into the town.
Our radiator clogged with insect corpses
And the noon day sun beating down.
We knew if we tried to carry on
Our hoses were sure to burst,
So this seemed a good place to
Stop and cool down
Have a meal and quench our thirst.

The service station and eating house
Was a corrugated iron shack.
But the smell of cooking and the thought of a drink
Was heaven in that Australian outback.
We looked at the menu chalked on a board
”Steak, chips and salad at four dollars a head“
Well, a meal like that we couldn’t afford
To miss, if the beer was free (like it said).

The steak was huge and perfectly grilled,
The chips and the salad were equally large
And the tinnies of beer were nicely chilled
And came, as they said, without any charge.

The engine had cooled but the fuel was low,
So before we left we topped up the car.
Whilst filling us up with ten gallons, or so
The owner told us we’d not get far
In this heat and suggested that ”You really ought’a
Take on a few extra pints of water.
‘ Cos if you don’t it ‘ll just dehydrate yer
If you don’t top up the calls of nature.”

We agreed, and after we’d paid our bill
Asked this enterprising man
If he would let us go and fill
Our radiator and a plastic can.
“No worries mate”, he said with a grin
And came back with a bucket and an old beer tin.
It’ll cost you three dollars a litre“ said he.
”Water’s scarce around here - but the beer comes free“